Getting the fear in check
This week, we continue our series on back-to-basics. Today, I want to talk about getting your fear in check. I cannot tell you how many emails I receive, how many DMS I receive from you guys that are just paralyzed with fear.
You want to start a business. Or start Bookkeeper Training School. You want to get clients. Or you simply just want to do something different with your life. But you can't act because you're scared.
I'm going to share my favorite tool for clarifying what is going on that helps get your fear in check.
My mom told me over the weekend that I'm one of those people that's just dynamic. I just go. And I think the reason that I'm able to do that is that work on how to deal with fear.
Honestly, I get scared all the time. Trust me. Right now I am planning to move halfway across the country. We're selling a house and buying a new one. And we are uprooting everything that we have to move. That is scary. But I'm going to tell you a little bit about what I'm doing to help me get through this. And I hope it will help you as well.
Acknowledge that fear is normal
So first I think it's really important to acknowledge the fear is normal. Sometimes you think that the people who act aren't afraid. That's just not true. We all have fear. And get scared. The difference is how we react to that fear. And how we process and interact with it.
A three-step process to keep fear in check
When you are going through your normal day, there's this three-step process that you go through. You think, feel, and then act all day long. When something happens, you think about that thing.
A feeling is triggered and then you act. Or maybe you don't act. But let me tell you that not acting is an action. Not making a decision is an action or deciding not to do anything is an action.
Let me give you an example. You see my post for Bookkeeper Training School, and think it would be great but don't do anything. Or you sign up for it. As you start going through the content, I tell you to set up your business. That is when you stop. You start thinking that you didn't sign up for this. You signed up to learn bookkeeping and you're going to learn your bookkeeping first. And then you're going to set up a business.
When those feelings start coming, you get anxious. And you get scared. Then, what happens is that you then decide what you're going to do. And what some of you do is you close the browser and say, "I'm done right now."
Unpack the why to keep fear in check
Some of you say, "Okay. Yes, I understand. I'm afraid. Let me sit with this for a little bit. Why am I afraid?" And you start to unpack it, and you start to dig. And this is where I think that journaling is important.
Journaling will help keep the fear in check
You can do this process every single day in your journal. It doesn't have to be a special journal. It can be anything you can write in.
Do this during the day. When fear pops up, write down what you're thinking. When all the feelings start coming, you just want to stop. Pull out your journal, and start going through your thoughts. What are you thinking? Write it down.
After you have written them all down, I want you to look back at that and figure out how that makes you feel. And then write down all the feelings that you're having. I want you to unpack all those feelings and thoughts.
How I did not let my fear get in the way of launching Bookkeeper Training School
I remember when we got the idea for Bookkeeper Training School. We were pitching it to a room of seventy-five other business people. My mentor, Julie Stoian was sitting at the back of the room. She leaned back in her chair and put her arms up and told us that this is what you need to do.
As I was up there telling the story, I remember being so excited. And I was so passionate about it because I love helping moms and businesses. Being able to bring those two groups together was so exciting. I knew that with such a shortage of bookkeepers and tax people, there would be so much opportunity out there if we can train moms to do this.
But then, as I left the conference, and we were driving home that night. All the fear and doubts set in. Who am I to do this. I remember being so afraid and I almost didn't do it.
I almost didn't launch the course because years before I tried to launch another course and it failed. And I know exactly why I failed. It failed because I didn't put it out there. I didn't do all the things that I do with Bookkeeper Training School. And I wasn't doing all the things that I know I needed to do to grow that business.
Getting that first client is hard
And you know what, that business could have been successful, but I didn't do what I needed to do because I was scared. And I know some of you are getting frustrated because you're not getting clients. You've reached out to 10 people. But you need to reach out to 40, 50, or more people. You need to keep expanding your circle.
Getting that first client is hard because you're learning how to get clients. And what's going to happen is once you've gotten that first client, it's so much easier to get the second one, and the third one. There will come a tipping point where you're not going out and looking for people anymore. People are coming to find you. And when that happens, it's pretty awesome.
Act to keep fear in check
Even despite all the fear and anxiety, the thing that was different with Bookkeeper Training School is that I acted. Even now, I still have the thoughts that this is going to fail. That it's not going to work. The feelings are still there: fear, anxiety, being scared. The difference now is that I take all that and unpack it.
Many of you are walking around in fear. You tried another thing and it failed. And you are walking around saying that you are a failure. You are not a failure. It failed.
You need to keep going, push past the fear
You are so often afraid to fail because you feel like you become a failure. The difference between people who have not succeeded yet and people who have is that they keep trying. And they keep going.
I know it can get frustrating at times. But what successful people do is they keep trying and going. When something isn't working, they try something else.
So hopefully as you are going through, you are going to figure out what is and is not working for you. That includes what is, and is not working in your mindset. And then act.
As you grow your business you will have many feelings.
A lot of times when you start to get those feeling and thoughts, that frustration comes out in your marketing and your communications. You are trying to grow your business. And trying to figure out what you're supposed to do. Then you get to the point where you think that if you don't get a client this week, you are done and are giving up.
I don't want people to be able to read or see that desperation in your posts. So I want you to start journaling. Every day. I want you to start thinking about things. What are you thinking and feeling? Why are you feeling this way?
When you don't know what to do, you can figure it out
And when you are stuck or start to get frustrated, fear comes in. Tell yourself that even though you don't know what to do, you can figure it out.
If you are in Bookkeeper Training School and have access to the Empower Bookkeeper Network, you've got a whole community of people who can help you figure it out. Use that community. Take advantage of it.
And if you're not in Bookkeeper Training School, but you're interested in joining, you can go to bookkeepertrainingschool.com and you can view our free training on how to get started.
I'd love to know what you are doing to keep your fear in check. Please comment below!